How to relax when vacationing: Here’s how I did it!
The fear of missing out (FOMO) used to dominate my travel itineraries, leaving me asking, ‘Why am I not enjoying my vacation?’.
Thankfully, I found the answer by practicing mindful travel. My new travel goal is simple: to relax, take in the good vibes, and get enough sleep.
This shift in mindset didn’t happen overnight—it was the result of a personal journey that completely transformed the way I approach travel and mindfulness.
The 3 steps I took to finally learn how to relax on vacation!
1. Noticing the many inconveniences caused by a hectic travel itinerary
Traveling used to feel like a race against the clock. With only 15 precious vacation days a year, I felt a huge pressure to make every moment count.
I was a slave to the limited number of days off, and My vacations were jam-packed with itineraries that left little room for enjoying the present moment. For instance, I once visited India, Japan, and Korea in 2 weeks (LOL).
My vacations were anything but restful. They were a continuation of my hectic daily life, filled with early morning wake-up calls, back-to-back activities, and a never-ending list of must-dos. I felt an overwhelming need to see and do everything, fearing that I would miss out on something amazing if I didn’t.
This mindset left me exhausted, both physically and mentally, by the end of each trip.
The worst part about this travel approach was the amount of stress it put on everyone I came across. I rushed servers at restaurants, was impatient at airports, and ran through the streets not caring about anyone who might be on my way (to not miss the subway although it runs in a 5-minute schedule). Being so anxious and exhausted left little room for being compassionate to others and myself.
Turns out that holiday stress is a thing, and that it is normal to not enjoy a vacation. Who enjoys being tied to a strict schedule with little or no time for spontaneity?
2. A Going Through a Mental Health Crisis that Changed Everything
In 2023, I experienced a mental health crisis mainly driven by my corporate job that forced me to reevaluate my life. The constant stress, anxiety, and pressure to always be engaged in something took a toll on my well-being.
It was during this difficult time that I realized the importance of prioritizing my health, both mentally and physically.
3. Embracing a New Travel Philosophy: Mindful Travel
After my mental health crisis, I made a conscious decision to change the way I live (and travel!).
I began to listen to my body and prioritize my needs and the needs of others over any itinerary.
If I was tired, I allowed myself to rest. If I felt unwell, I stayed in and took care of myself, even if it meant missing out on a stunning hike or a famous landmark. If my food was taking too long in the restaurant, I just canceled or shifted whatever I had booked for after. This shift in mindset was liberating.
One of the first trips I took after embracing this new philosophy was to Bonito, in Brazil.
Instead of planning every minute of the day, I left my schedule open. I woke up without an alarm, ate when I was hungry (as opposed to when a famous restaurant had an available table), and spontaneously went to the beach.
Turns out that the FOMO I had on my previous vacations was simply unjustified. Though I missed out on some of the best things to do in Bonito, I do not regret prioritizing my relaxation and peace over them.
Turns out that the holiday stress is a thing, and that it is normal to not enjoy a vacation. Who can possibly enjoy being tied to a strict schedule with little time for spontaneity?
The moment when I realized mindful travel is now my autopilot
A key moment that made me realize that mindful travel is my new standard was in an instance where I had booked a dive tour near Rio de Janeiro.
I had prepaid for two dives, which usually cost $50 each. During the first dive, I found the wildlife beautiful, but the water was freezing and I really couldn’t focus on anything but the temperature of the water.
After returning to the boat, I decided not to go on the second dive, even though I had already paid for it. If I wasn’t enjoying the experience, there was no point in going again.
While my boyfriend went on the second dive, I stayed on the boat, watching the water and observing sea turtles from above.
It was a pleasing and joyful moment that I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy if I had forced myself to “make the most of the tour” and entered the ice-cold water.
At the end of the day, I was very proud of myself for not even considering going on that second dive – turns out that my body now understands that comfort should always be prioritized while on vacation!
How to get over the guilt of not “making the most” of a trip
Mindful traveling is not as easy as it sounds. On my latest trip to Utah, I also found myself feeling guilty for “not making the most of the trip” because I was sick and wanted to prioritize my health. I was upset to not capture as many pictures and videos as I wanted and not have visited many places I wanted to write about.
This guilt is similar to how I felt in my corporate days after submitting a document or giving a presentation. It comes from the mindset of “it could have been better if I had tried harder” although I had already sacrificed sleep and overall self-care to complete a task.
To get over this negative feeling, I just remind myself that as long as I spend each moment with joy, it does not matter if it is spent on a ride in Disneyland or watching TV in a Mickey-themed hotel room.
Don’t forget, the best way to make the most of a trip is to allow yourself to do the things that bring you joy, not the things listed on a click-baity post saying “DO NOT MISS these things when in …”.
How do I learn to relax on vacation?
If you’re ready to embrace a more mindful (and relaxing!) approach to travel, here are some practical tips to get started:
- Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to how you feel and adjust your plans accordingly. If you’re tired, skip the early morning hike. If you’re feeling unwell, take a day (or days) off to rest.
- Be Flexible: Avoid overplanning your trips. Leave room for spontaneity and be open to changing your plans based on how you feel or what opportunities arise. Here I find it helpful to have an 80/20 mindset: only book 20% of your waking hours and let the rest up to how you’re feeling in the moment!
- Focus on Quality, Not Quantity: Instead of trying to see everything, focus on a few key experiences that truly interest you. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself in each activity and create meaningful memories.
- Practice Self-Care: Make time for activities that nourish your mind and body, such as meditation, yoga, enjoying the scenery, or simply cloud watching. You don’t need to only do destination-specific activities! You’re on vacation, do whatever pleases you. If sleeping pleases you more than a morning yoga session, stay in bed and sleep guilt-free!
Sharing My Journey
This shift in my travel philosophy has been life-changing, and I hope my story inspires you to travel on your own terms, prioritize yourself, embrace the moment, and ditch the pressure to do it all. Remember, the goal of a vacation is to relax and recharge, not to come back feeling more exhausted than when you first left.
